"Being single is an opportunity to discover who God has made us to be and what He has called us to in this life." ~Eric & Leslie Ludy, When God Writes Your Love Story
Being single has been something I've struggled with for a while. I've struggled with it as I've sat by and watched as one by one of my friends got asked to court and then eventually get married. I've had my own share of tears and I allowed bitterness to harbor in my heart without realizing it. I had asked the Lord, "Why am I still waiting?" but received no answer. I didn't understand why no guy has ever taken a interest in me or even asked me out. I thought there must be something wrong with me. Like any other women, I wanted to be seen and loved for who I am. Whether I am healed of my deafness or not.
I wanted to be treasured and cherished by only one man for the rest of my life and that man is the one I am to marry.
I have met and liked guys and they liked me but there has been times when I've let my heart deceive myself into believing that a relationship was going to start and then it didn't and all I got was disappointment in the end.
At last, I came to the conclusion that I must be destined to be single. But the truth was, I wasn't completely content in that nor was I trusting God in that area of my life and no wonder that it has caused me to fail every time. I would attempt to start a relationship with a guy but then God was never in the center of it.
I just re-read the book by Eric and Leslie Ludy, "When God Writes Your Love Story" recently. I had forgotten how good it was and now that I'm older, it has completely changed my perspective. Upon reading it, I felt God tugging at my heart and I knew that I was not allowing Him to have full reign in that area of my life. I knew what I had to do and I didn't want to do it. But I surrendered the pen of my love life to the Lord. I am trusting Him completely and fully to write my beautiful story in His perfect timing. Not mine.
I also realized something else extremely important. I was not ready then (I am not saying that I am ready now only God knows when). I was not ready to start dating when I thought I was ready. And God knew that! I realized that it goes all the way back to when my mom died nearly five years ago. I was so hurt at the time and lonely that there was no way a guy could fill that void in my heart. Only God could. If He didn't love me so much, He would have let me chase after guys, get their attention, get hurt, and be miserably alone.
I mean, with all what have happened in the past, if it weren't for those things, I wouldn't be at the place I am at right now in my walk with the Lord. I would not be on the same level of maturity that I am at now. I would have never come to the conclusion that I was not allowing Him to have full reign of authoring my love story.
If it weren't for all that, I would have never known what God has called me to do in my serving Him through my singleness. I am so thankful for Him protecting me... and for keeping me safe. I've learned that He alone is the One who will never let me down.
